A well-worn head of a player

He’s confused. Perhaps it is because he can see the tip of his nose out of one eye only or maybe the ref’s saying something wrong. Either way, you don’t want to be in a similar position. 

So you’ve never played Rugby Union explains the game for those of us who have been less than accurate about our youth and are, perhaps, taking a 7-year-old to a match and don’t want to appear an idiot. 

There are lots in the stands who share your concerns. There will be some on the pitch as well, and I’ve seen the occasional rugby ref . . . With this book you can bullshit yourself through 80 minutes of any match and appear a hero to your child.

Say phrases like: ‘Kicking away touch’, ‘The twenty five yard line’ and ‘You’re not allowed to say that about the ref, even if he deserves it’. Be a hero to your child. 

Do not be concerned regarding what’s going on here. The New Rugby can be confusing if the last time you watched it Eddie Waring was commentating. Many of the old traditions remain, as evidenced by Farrell, but whilst it is still somewhat manly in intent, the book shows you what is still acceptable and what might bring you to the attention of the ref, the committee or the police. 

The book is useful for all levels, from a spectator new to the game, through players, refs are aided, and commentators will discover what they’ve been missing all these years.  

Ref patting player on bottom

Man under umbrella all on his own

It’s raining. It’s soft underfoot. There’s a wind at your back and your coat is getting soaked. Your cigarette won’t stay alight. The beer is getting watered down. Your family have returned to the clubhouse, but as your child is playing on a remote pitch, one of you has to stay, and that one is you.

I was videoing a match my son was playing in on a clear, freezing February. Steam rose from individual players and it looked like the scrums and rucks were being played in the cloud. The zoom stopped working. I returned to the clubhouse during half time, tried the zoom lever, and it worked.

Back pitchside, after 15 minutes it failed again. I later found my breath was freezing and blocking the base of the lever. Watching rugby can be so much fun. They tell me.

It’s what’s coming your way.

Cover image of book. Just some bloke.

You can buy the book, for a paltry £1.99 on Kindle, click here. 

Or you could take advantage of a reduction offered on this website for a mere £1.75. Buy through our secure and safe Ecwid store.

All comments welcome, although the language might be modified. If you have any laws (anyone posting the word rules will be deleted) that you think I’ve missed or others might find useful, please let me know below.

No comments of the 2020 6N match between England and France please. The pain never goes away. You will say, ‘It was a good game. France deserved to win’ but underneath it all, you’re pleased with Brexit despite voting remain.

20,000+ words, some lovely pictures, lots of unsound advice, a quantity of lies, some digs at various rugby teams; and all this for £1.75. You’d be a fool to miss it. Just think how much more knowledge you’ll have after reading it.

Not much I know, but then the price is not much as well.